Reflecting back on 2012... (Part 1)

I'm sitting here looking back on a year that started out with so much optimism only to come crashing down mid-year with a severe depression and subsequent effects on what had been a promising year of running and health. So, let's take a month by month look at this bumpy year that I hope to leave in the rear view mirror in hopes of a much improved 2013.

January 2012
After a slightly rough start with being injured and in physical therapy since Oct 2011 and having to limit my newly found love of running things began looking up when I was released from PT and restarted training for my very first half marathon, the inaugural TinkerBell HM at Disneyland. I met my fundraising goal for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training and would be heading back out west to see if I could meet the challenge. I did and I made some good running friends while at it. Probably the most close relationship I've developed from this race are my friends Melanie & Dianne. It was Melanie's and my first half marathon ever. We were previous non-lovers of running and both RNs in the psych/mental health nursing world. We started the race as virtual strangers other than meeting once and communicating via Facebook but finished together as friends. We shared many similarities in our lives and I've come to think of her as a very good friend. I can't wait to see her again at TinkerBell in 2013 (we're rooming together). :D

Love ya, Melanie!! :D

Dianne had already been running for a while and while we didn't communicate much face to face at the race other than at our Facebook group meetup where she brought some Ghiradelli chocolates for everyone and a brief chat after the race we have been very communicative online. I think the connection has to do with the fact that we're both California girls and Asian...we understand things that others sometimes don't! LOL! I'll be seeing Dianne again at Tink 2013 and then we're rooming together at the Princess Half Marathon at Walt Disney World in February where she will attain Legacy runner status (running every year of the first 5 years of the race). I don't have any pics of Dianne aside from our group's meetup pic below. :(

TinkerBell HM Facebook Group - Inaugural Meetup
That's Dianne sitting down near the middle in the white long sleeve shirt.

February 2012

Nothing major really happened in February that I can recall other than running my second half marathon for which I only had to travel an hour and a half. I ran this one with a newly formed running group here in town, the Clovis Area Run/Walk Club, which was started on 1/3/12. Of course I was the slowest one to complete the half marathon in the group but I made a very good local friend, Teresa, who had been running for about 4 years after beating cancer. We communicate regularly on Facebook now, see each other occassionally in town and I introduced her to the Bountiful Baskets food co-op program here in town because I know whe is a very healthy eater (something I am still working on). I consider her my local running partner in crime...I don't think she knows that yet. We got together and participated in a couple more races in 2012 (Wayland Wellness Run Half Marathon and the New Mexico Centennial-TX/NM Team Challenge (she did the full and still finished before I finished the half!). We'll be participating in the Bataan Memorial Death March and hopefully The Color Run 5K together (but apart...she's way faster than me) in 2013.

Big ((hugs))  to you Teresa!

March 2012

The biggest thing that happened in March was finishing my third half marathon with what is still my personal record to date (PR) of 2:37:xx. This enabled me to join the Half Fanatics as member #1982...the same year as my high school graduation (not by accident). This led to the start of a quest to finish 30 half marathons in 30 different states in 365 days. I was well on my way but by May things would be different and I won't be reaching my goal. But for a previous non-runner to join a group of exceptional people who run for different reasons and at varying speeds is something I never in my life would have thought would have happened. 

April 2012

This was the month that I started noticing the depression coming on. It's not like it was unexpected because I typically do go into a depressive state during the spring, but it was just my hope that I could skip a year without one...it was just not to be. I kept racing finishing the OKC Memorial Half Marathon and meeting running legend Bill Rodgers. The month was not extremely bad, but the downhill slide was gaining momentum.

Me with Bill Rodgers, Olympian, marathoner, author.

Probably the most meaningful medal so far.

May 2012

This was the month that the sh!t hit the fan. I've always been pretty good at hiding just how bad I was feeling when depressed but I had always managed to maintain a relatively active online presence. Not this time. I basically went offline for the first time since the late 90's. I disappeared from all my social networks, I rarely left the house other than to run and I spent many a day not getting dressed, showered or eating. Not a happy time. I did manage to finish 4 half marathons and registered for an all women's trail running clinic.

I traveled all the way to Illinois and Wisconsin to race. I met up with another good running friend and TNT alum, Kat, who is originally from Wisconsin and the chance to see her again and knock out another state was my momentum to run in the Wisconsin Half Marathon. Not only did I meet up with her again, but I also met Dave Mari...running celeb extraodaire who gets to so many races and takes so many pictures that it's totally crazy. You can always identify him because he always has the Paul Frank monkey on his shirt! I also spent a couple of nights with my cousin, Maria, who lives in Illinois and I hadn't seen since they moved to Japan after being stationed in New Mexico (where we met for the first time, while stationed at the same base). I have no idea of how we managed not to get any pictures while I was there!?!

Kat with the Captain!

Dave and I.

Unfortunately, this trip also resulted in the ending of the relationship with my daughter who also suffers from bipolar disorder. We have cut off communication with each other under mutual agreement. The last bridge has been burned and I'm done.

Probably the big personal thing that happened was that I reached my fundraising goal for Relay for Life and shaved my head...again! I had done it in 2006 where it was a big deal because my nursing students who helped me with fundraising got to shave my hair off. This year it was much more low key because I was sick (mentally and physically) and I didn't have hoards of people actually wanting to shave my head. It because a non-big deal as I showed up at the team's camp and they proceeded to shave everything off.

June 2012

By June I was pretty much deep into this depressive episode with the high points only being concerned with running. This was also the month that my thinking got too stupid and had some really bad repercussions. I was at my lowest at this point, skipping my 30 year high school class reunion which I had been looking forward to for over a year. Friends who I had not seen since high school were going to be there and instead I spent the week in bed with such a low self-worth that I couldn't be scraped off the floor with a sharp edged, metal scraper. At the beginning of the month before a major emotional crash I managed to complete the Wounded Warrior Half Marathon in Irving, TX with my cousin Ausa who I had not seen for years during which she completed her very first 10K. I also attended the trail running clinic with Teresa at which I discovered something I already knew...I was not born to be a trail runner!

My cousin Ausa after finishing her very first 10K race.

To be continued...

Race Recap: Hope & Healing Place Half Marathon

Race Day - 5/13/12


Race Day -1
The husband and I decided to head up to Amarillo the day prior to the race due to the  time change (we lose an hour crossing the border...8 miles away) and the early 7am start time. We spent the day having a late lunch at Red Robin then watching The Avengers (I was kinda disappointed...I expected more from the movie). We both turned in a bit early at around 9pm since I had to get up early for the race. I had planned to wake up at 5:30am so we could hit breakfast at 6am but somehow he didn't understand what I said (who am I kidding...he probably didn't have his hearing aids in) and set his alarm to 4:30am.



Race Day

An early Sunday meant barely any traffic on I-40 so we took that route then I-27 to get to downtown in less than 10 minutes. After parking I went to pick up my packet so that I could finish getting ready. As I walked through the parking lot, I noticed that there were only 3 New Mexico tags on cars...kinda odd since we're so close to the border. Anyway, the temperature was nice in the high 50s and no inkling of rain to be seen.

As we lined up for the start, I took my traditional towards the back position. When the horn went off so did the runners. It wasn't until about 2/10ths of a mile in that I realized that I had forgotten to set my MotoACTV GPS for a time/distance goal, so there I am slowing to a quick walk waiting for the GPS to hook up in and amongst the few tall building in Amarillo so that I could start running again.

A house in the one of the older Amarillo neighborhoods.

Blurry pic of route under I-40.

The course started downtown and moved into some of the older neighborhoods that are well maintained. These were areas of Amarillo that I had never been to. We also ran past Amarillo College and Memorial Park early in the race. The course then took us to Plains Blvd past an older shopping center and along one of the urban walking trails. Next came a move into what I'd call a more upscale neighborhood with the big homes and the country club which looked like it's golf course was undergoing renovation. Then just after we turned the corner from the country club, I see it. A hill, a big hill by my standards! At that point I'm thinking, "Why do the race directors feel the need to put a hill so close to the finish?" The finish was still 3 miles away, at least up until this area the course was mostly flat. I was at least happy to find that before tackling the hill we would turn and go around a strip park with tiny, rolling hills before attacking the big hill starting  closer to the middle of it.

"Oh crap...a hill!"
One of the few hills in Amarillo.

The next mile or so went through an older, less well maintained neighborhood then into the old Route 66 area of town. As I was running along, I noticed that the girl who was about a quarter mile ahead of me had crossed the street and was running on the opposite side. As I got closer to where she had crossed I noticed that there was a disheveled guy on my side of the street that was obviously having some active symptoms of schizophrenia going on. Unlike the girl before me, I simply moved from the sidewalk onto the side of the road just out of arms reach of this man and went about my merry way. He yelled a few garbled and nonsensical words at me but never posed a threat. People might perhaps say that was not a smart way of reacting to the situation, but after having been an inpatient in a psychiatric ward twice and teaching clinicals in a locked down psychiatric facility I've developed a tolerance and a healthy respect for active mental illness symptomology. The last 1½ miles or so had us running through an older business district south of old Route 66 and finally back into downtown and the finish line. As usual, for me, that last mile is always the hardest...you'd think it would be the opposite. But I finished and quite a way from being last! Yay me!

Dammit! That finish line is still THAT far away??

We hung out at the finish line until the last finisher crossed. During this time I had several people come up to me and thank me for running the race...I have to wonder if they were saying that because I was bald (having just had my head shaved for Relay for Life two nights before) and thinking that I was/had been ill or if it was just a congratulatory thanks. Oh well. I got my free massage...the very last one in line...and we headed back to the hotel to check out. We spent the rest of the day trying to locate the Sear Service and Repair shop that I had passed during the run without any luck, then headed  Pei Wei for a late lunch before heading to the theater to watch Dark Shadows (actually enjoyed this more than The Avengers). A quick and nice weekend getaway with the old man with only slightly over a 1½ hour drive to the race instead of my recent multiple hour drives. Yay!

What I liked about this race: Extremely close to home (1½ hours...just slightly over) and I love coming up to Amarillo. The course is nice and not too flat or hilly.

What I didn't like about this race: Nothing really. It was well organized over all.

Would I do this race again? In a heartbeat! Especially since it's close to home!

Until there's a cure...there is no finish line!

A few days ago, when I had my TNT purple hair dyed back to a more normal dark auburn, I found out that again cancer had struck someone I knew. I hadn't seen this particular person, a nurse I used to work with when I first arrived in town, much over the years after I left the hospital. I'd bump into her occasionally at a doctor's office, in the mall or at WalMart. The last time I saw her was probably about, if not over, a year ago. She seemed well and we chatted briefly before going on our separate ways. When I went to get my hair colored I found out that she had been diagnosed with cancer back in October and was not expected to make it through the day. I have not heard anything yet but it really wasn't looking good as of early last week.

So, I'm going to take this post to ask you to please join me in the fight against cancer. Please support one of the following organizations that I have been fundraising for with a donation. Simply click on their logo to go to my fundraising page. Thank you!

Accepting donations until the end of February 2012

$5 minimum online donation, mail in form available

100 Days Challenge:

• Day 43
• 33 minutes strengthening PT exercises

What I Ate Today:

• French bread Pepperoni pizza on a Bolillo roll
• 60 oz G2
• ½ cup Mongolian beef
• 1½ cups white rice

Zumbathon...done!

So, I'm currently sitting here at the 4 Hour Zumbathon that I'm hosting for the American Cancer Society Relay for Life. The turnout is smaller than the last one I had in November but any fundraising is good fundraising. So far I've raised a total of $380 for this event. In addition to my virtual run (which raised $510) that brings me to $890, almost half of my goal of $2,000. I'm planning another Zumbathon and 5K Real Life & Virtual Run/Walk for March or April before Relay happens. Hopefully with those events and letter writing I'll be able to reach the $2,000 goal!

Monica Vigil teaching hour 1.

Brooke Hall & Ashley Pyle-Golbaum teaching hour 2.

Brienna Scott teaching hour 3.

Amy Szaloy teaching hour 4.

100 Days Challenge:

• 30+ minutes of Zumba while hosting the 4 Hour Zumbathon.

What I Ate Today:

• 1 slice whole wheat toast with 1 Tbsp Skippy Super Chunk peanut butter
• 12 oz non-fat, lactose free milk
• 8 oz Shrimp scampi
• 2 cups white rice
• 8 oz Gatorade
• 1 3/4 cup Texas style beef chili
• 2 Tbsp Fiesta blend shredded cheese
• 1 small piece of English Toffee (~ 1" x 1")
• ~1 cup Tostitos scoops
• 1/2 navel orange

Cancer...I hate it!

I got some terrible news from a friend this past week. This particular friend has been fighting cancer for the past nearly 3 years with periods of remission and recurrence. Right now, thankfully, a more peaceful time of year is coming up for her as she has to go through another round of chemo. While this break is short it will hopefully allow her time to get through the worst part of her treatment. It's a feeling of helplessness when someone you know and care about is going through such a terrible time. Please don't be surprised if you see me fundraising again after I finish with my commitment to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society/Team in Training. I have decided that I will be switching gears and going back to my roots with the American Cancer Society to lead a team for the Curry County Relay for Life in May 2012 in honor of my friend. I'm just giving fair warning...after May I'll definitely take a break from fundraising until probably a full marathon in 2013 again with Team in Training. Please keep my friend in your prayers/thoughts as well as any other patients and families that are having to deal with this disease in all it's forms. Thanks!