Honoring Our Heroes - Memorial Day Flag Run Planning

The day after the Boston Marathon bombing, I took to the pavement and did a 10 mile flag run as part of Team Red, White and Blue to remember the victims of the bombing. I was a lone runner on a windy day in a small city on the eastern edge of New Mexico just proud to be doing something to support the people of Boston even though they'd likely never know about it. The following weekend I got a group of people together through our local run/walk club to do a group run/walk again to support Boston, but also to show our support to the town of West, Texas after the fertilizer plant explosion.

With Memorial Day coming up in just a few days, I had initially considered driving to Lubbock to attend a WOD (Workout of the Day - Crossfit) for Warriors organized by Team Red, White and Blue but I was suddenly struck by the desire to do another flag run locally. This time, I am determined not to be the only one out there. I've posted to our club Facebook page, to the local newspaper's Facebook page and to one of the larger radio stations announcing a Memorial Day flag run with groups for walkers, slower runners or run/walkers and runners with a pace of less than 10 minutes/mile. I've only got 4 of us so far, but I just posted about it this morning so hopefully some more people will come out of the woodwork before Monday. This is not a Team Red, White and Blue event, although I will be wearing my Team RWB singlet, but rather just a group of like minded athletes (and yes, the walkers are athletes in my eyes) who want to do a small something to show our pride in country and to honor all our veterans past and present.

When: 
Monday, May 27, 2013 - Memorial Day

Time: 
7am - 10am

Location: 
Meet at Hilltop Plaza, in front of the spa store. Look for the Explorer with all the running stickers on the back window.

Routes: 
Walkers led by Troy - ~1.5 mile out and back (from start to Prince) may go farther if you wish
Slower runners/ run-walkers (slower than 10 miles/minute) led by myself - ~5K (3. miles) loop from start going West then back to Prince and back to start.
Runners (faster than 10 miles/minute) led by Teresa - Route to be determined but at least a 5K distance

• Please bring a flag if you have one, of ANY size.
• This will be a self-supported activity, please bring your own hydration/nutrition as it still gets pretty warm even that early in the morning.

I'm pretty excited to see what happens, I mean we are a military community lots of active duty and retirees. As a veteran myself I understand to the depth of my core what Memorial Day means. I've lost friends during the duration of Operation Iraqi Freedom/Operation Enduring Freedom. I've had loved one's caught up in the initial bombing raids of Baghdad and my husband served several tours during these operations. So yes, Memorial Day has a great meaning to me of those who gave their lives to secure our freedoms. So, that's how I'll be spending my holiday...and maybe driving up to Albuquerque to attend a Newton shoe test run (get to do a 2-5 mile run to test out some Newton shoes)...that's still up in the air though.

USAF Basic Training - 1982

April 2013

What are your doing on Memorial Day to remember our honored veterans?

Race Recap: 2013 Oklahoma City Memorial Half Marathon

Race Date: Sunday, April 28, 2013
Race Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

This isn't going to be my normal format for a race recap. This race wasn't about me but rather running in the memory of all those who have been victims of terrorism on U.S. soil as well as getting the husband through his first on road half marathon. I ran this race in honor of all veterans, past and present, as I do all my races. However, this time I also ran for those runners who were unable to complete the Boston Marathon due to the tragic bombing that took the lives 4 individuals who were simply doing their job or out enjoying the marathon. I also dedicated the run to the victims of the Oklahoma City bombing which occurred just over 18 years ago as well as to the victims of 9/11. Lastly, I dedicated this run to the victims of the Newtown, CT shootings on behalf of the marathon runners who were unable to run mile 26 which had been dedicated by the race officials to the victims of Newtown.

Dedication bib I wore on my back during the race.

This was my second time participating in the OKC Half Marathon. There was definitely a different vibe at this race compared to last year. There were at least 2 helicopters flying above the downtown area before and just after the race began. There were military members in uniform, sniffer dogs, bomb squad personnel with bulletproof vests on and access to the starting line was limited. While the overall buzz of a race still remained there was a certain restraint in the air. Everywhere you saw reminders of the Boston Marathon bombing...from the Runners United to Remember bibs to red socks (a call went out in the 2 weeks prior to the race for participants to wear red socks in honor of the Boston Red Sox who after the bombing in OKC made a similar gesture for OKC) to green shoelaces (something I read about only after the race).

One highlight of the race was the fact that the husband was running his first road race here. This would be his second of three half marathons required for entry into Half Fanatics. I was worried because prior to this he had only hiked the Bataan Memorial Death March short course (14.2 miles) and his longest run was only 6.5 miles. I had taken him on what was supposed to be a 12 mile long run the week before OKC and he quit at 6.5 miles...I really wasn't sure that he'd finish this race, but I was going to do everything I could to make sure he did even if we had to walk the last half. I won't lie, I was a bit exasperated that he didn't train properly or listen to my recommendations for training...but one way or another he was going to finish this race. I was thinking that we'd be lucky to finish the race in under 4 hours...I was in for a pleasant surprise.

We arrived at the Memorial at about 5:20am so that I could meet up with some other Half Fanatics so that we could take a group picture at around 5:45am. We had originally planned to do the photo at the Survivor Tree but there was a sunrise service happening at the time so we decided on doing the pic in front of the Memorial's chairs for the victims of the bombing 18 years prior.

Free expo pic!

My gear for OKC Memorial HM.

This was an amazing picture taken by an unknown
photographer as we waited for the rest of the group.
Photo courtesy of RNrunnerdiva,
a fellow blogger and Half Fanatic (3rd from the left).

Group pic of the Half Fanatics and Marathon Maniacs.
My husband has been fired until he takes a photography class!
RNrunnerdiva/Theresa has the black Nike cap on and
I'm next to her in the Team Red, White & Blue singlet.

After the pic was taken, we all went into our separate directions and corrals. The hubs and I took our place towards the back of the pack and awaited the start of the race. Now, I must admit that I always get teary eyed when the national anthem is played before a race or any event. This time I went into a full on crying fit. It was the first event...probably since 9/11...that I had heard the majority of the participants and spectators sing along with the anthem. I'm not talking just an under the breath sing along, but rather at full voice with pride and reverence. I seriously lost it when this happened. The anthem was followed by  168 seconds of silence to honor the victims of the OKC bombing plus another 3 seconds for those directly killed in the Boston bombing. I swear those seconds lasted forever...

Waiting for the start.

Finally the race started...the wheelchair athletes took off first at 6:25am with the first runners taking off at 6:30am. It took about 20 minutes for us back of the packers to finally cross the starting line. The hubs and I had driven the course the day before so that he would know what he was getting into. It actually was pretty funny because there were at least 2 other cars doing the same thing...hubs made the comment that we should have all just carpooled! The first obstacle in his (and my way) was the first hill/train overpass coming out of Bricktown. Gorilla Hill, which happens about mid-race, is way more tame that this particular hill. The plan for us was to walk up and run down any hills and that is just what we did. The old man was doing okay during the first 5 or 6 miles of the run but at that halfway point he started fading. I made him use one of his Honey Stinger gels as a pick me up and started pushing him more to keep moving and keep doing intervals versus walking more and more. I had, and always seem to, hit my stride after the first 3-4 miles. I was feeling good and it was taking some restraint not to take off ahead of him and wait until he caught up. There were several times that he looked at me like he wanted to kill me for pushing him and other times that he looked like he just wanted to stop...but I kept pushing and made him keep going.

Probably the one thing I was hoping to see on the course was a couple of girls who last year were handing out bacon and Snickers. Unfortunately, they weren't there this year. Down in a couple of the neighborhoods, they had the houses that that were handing out shots of vodka, Jim Bean and other beverages. This year at Gorilla Hill they had an inflatable gorilla as well...something I don't remember from last year. We kept pushing on with me taking off ahead of the hubs every so often to catch a pic of him doing his first road race. It wasn't until about mile 10 that I started having my usual calf cramping and fell behind him catching up with him during his walking breaks. By the time we hit mile 12 I was feeling alright just having to walk of the cramping early on just enough that I could run for short distances. By this time I was thinking how odd it was that I felt that this race was much feeling much shorter than it did last year! I don't know if it was because I was in a different role and running with the hubs or if I have just become used to doing the distance. As we came into the last 500 yards or so of the finish line, the cramping started up harder and I had to do more of a wog (walk/jog) than a full run because the faster I went the harder the cramping occurred. We made it over the finish line together in 3:11:56...much better than the 4 hours that I had anticipated.

My favorite sign of the race.

Hubs at the base of Gorilla Hill...really it's not that bad.

Hubs posing in the International District.

This is one of two races that I'll be doing annually...the other being the Bataan Memorial Death March. Next year my plan is to do the full marathon. At this point I have no idea what the hubs is planning to do. I think it would be safe to say that this is one of my most favorite races that I've done in my short running career.

Until next year, OKC!! Hopefully under better circumstances...

Running for Boston

I woke up today at 2:30am just because I had gone to bed way earlier than I normally do. Over the last 2 days since the events at the Boston Marathon unfolded I've been doing some thinking and having the reaction of horror as other have at hearing about the injured and the dead. News footage and photos for the bombed area once cleared clearly showed the amount of blood left from the injuries sustained by the spectators. Those same spectators that cheer on we runners even if we're total strangers to them. The spectators are no less part of the running community than any runner is.

On Monday the national office of Team Red, White & Blue (Team RBW) called for members to don our team jersey's and run with a flag on Tuesday. I was already scheduled to do a 10 mile training run so I wore my Team RWB shirt, grabbed our one and only flag which is 2.5' x 4' (kinda hilarious since I'm just over 5'3"), printed out one of the Runners United to Remember Boston bibs "laminating" it with packing tape on both sides and pinned it to the back of my shirt. In my eyes this was the right thing to do, to show the solidarity of Team RWB in supporting Boston and to also show the solidarity of the running/walking community as whole for those affected by this act of terrorism. I am positive that I am not the only Team RWB member to do this...there's a run tonight in Albuquerque and nationwide through at least Saturday. I am also sure that I will not be the only team member to run solo because we have members all across the nation.

I ran my usual long run route along a couple of the main roads near the outskirts of town. This is a military community, my husband is a USAF retiree from the base here and I have my own connections as a veteran. My husband didn't run with me because he had to work and truthfully, he's not ready for a 10 miler. The wind for most of the run was in the 20+mph range especially in the open areas that are unprotected by buildings...which is most of the route. I had several people honking as they drove by a few actually stopped and took pictures or took pictures as they drove by. I had one lady, who had just started to follow the local club FB that I manage, actually stop and we chatted for a few minutes as to how she had seen me a couple of times and was just compelled to stop and thank me for doing the run.

One of the people who had taken a picture had posted it to the local newspaper's FB page and they were trying to figure out who I was. One of my former students identified me as did someone who apparently found my posts on Twitter. I made a couple of posts of why I did the run focusing on Team RWB and the running community's support for Boston. These are my posts:

Beth Hardy Yes, that is me. The national office of Team Red, White and Blue asked members to don their team jerseys and run with a flag today. The bib on my back is from an online movement by the running community over the next couple of months to honor the Boston community. This was a planned 10 mile run for me (although the wind wasn't) as part of my training for the OKC Memorial Half Marathon. When I ran it last year I dedicated my run to the victims of the OKC bombing and all veterans (I am an 80's era veteran). Unfortunately this year besides the OKC victims and vets I will be wearing the Boston bib as well and dedicating my 13.1 miles to the Newtown victims in honor of those runners who didn't have the chance to run the 26th mile which was dedicated to Newtown.

For more information on Team Red, White and Blue go to: http://teamrwb.com You don't have to be a vet or an athlete to support the organization. Veteran athletes can apply through the website. My husband and I are the only members in the Clovis area (as far as I know) so we affiliate with the ABQ chapter...we did the Bataan Memorial Death March as a group as well as other races.

If you're a runner/walker, please consider doing some miles or your next race for the running community at large but more specifically the whole of Boston.
I will post the bib that can be printed out on the Clovis Area Run/Walk Club page (http://facebook.com/CARWC).
Thank you.

Beth Hardy As an aside from my windy run this morning...there is one more online movement going on today. If you have ever run/walked a race, please wear a race shirt to honor Boston. If you can't due to dress code please try to wear blue and yellow. Thanks again.

Beth Hardy XXXXX XXXXX, I really don't want to draw attention away from the reason for this run. I've explained it in my posts above. I am simply a runner supporting the running community in Boston and as a whole. Thank you, but that is all I really have to say on the matter...I just ask all to remember those affected by yesterday's events and every other act of terrorism (homegrown or foreign). Any other info is in my earlier posts in this thread.

Somehow the reporter whose name I have "X" out found out where I live and came ringing my doorbell. I was trying to nap and ignored the first ring but at the second ring I answered the door in my robe and tactfully (I hope) told him I had nothing more to say and that everything he needed to know was in my comments to the picture as well as the fact that I was exhausted and trying to nap. The run for me was just a normal training run/walk due to the winds...not that I'm fast anyway...with the added touch of representing Team RWB and teaming up with the running community nationwide and internationally to remember those affected by the bombing. Nothing more. I ran to remember, I ran to support Team RWB's actions to remember. It was not about me, I was just training and remembering those in Boston.

Me after my windy 10 miles with the flag
I carried in the background.

The back of my Team RWB jersey.
That's a full page (8.5" x 11") bib.

One last thing, if you post on Twitter please try to keep using the hashtag #UnitedWeRun...

Who Am I Now?

As I was going through my Twitter feed tonight, I found a tweet about this article by one of my favorite bloggers who also deals with bipolar disorder:

Finding Meaning if You Have Bipolar Disorder - Giving Back

In summary this particular post discusses how those diagnosed with bipolar disorder ends up for one reason or another related to the bipolar has to live a life different that what they had imagined. In this case, the individual no longer feels whole or useful. It's often the bipolar that is providing the negative self imagery rather than what the person sees him/herself as. The post also discusses small ways from volunteering, to doing charitable things online or even just simply signing a petition as a way to give back to the community.

I found that this article pretty much mirrored my life. For over 15 years after my diagnosis I continued to work as an RN in a variety of positions but primarily in outpatient nursing and the final six years I taught nursing at the community college and university level. Being able to continue working did give me a sense of purpose especially while I was teaching. In 2009 a severe depression hit and remained through 2011 during this time I had one short 3 month spurt of hypomania where I felt "normal" or like the me I had always thought I was. Due to the severity of the depression I was unable to complete my work tasks and so my teaching contract was not renewed and I also decided not to work in nursing anymore. I went on disability through Veterans Affairs and due to my rating I was told that since it was for a mental illness that I would not be able to work at all per VA rules (I haven't found anything to verify this). 

My self-image had already been broken when the depression set in and just took another big hit when I had to stop working. I had basically lost my identity. I was no longer a nurse nor an educator. I, myself, did not know who I was anymore. I would stay at home rarely venturing out in public because I felt like a failure and didn't want to run into any of my former students. I finally got tired of sitting around that I decided to start going to the local YMCA to try to loose weight. I eventually decided that I wanted to start running so I signed up with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training to learn how to run safely and complete a half marathon. There was a minimum fundraising requirement and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to raise the amount, but surprisingly I was able to. And thus started my running "career."  I have continued to run and while not raising funds most of the time I have done some fundraising for the American Cancer Society and Team Red, White and Blue. I run many of my military related races wearing the eagle shirt for Team RWB to bring awareness to the organization.    
   

Another that I have built up a more positive self image was to start volunteering at the Bountiful Baskets local food co-op since I had to be there to pick up my produce anyway. So every 2 weeks, at now at times every week I volunteer for 2-3 hours to set up the baskets of produce for those who have ordered them. I consider this fun even with lifting boxes and a lot of bending over to fill the baskets. I've made friends with some of the volunteers, enough so that we're able to joke around. I typically don't make friends easily.

Another way that I give back is to continue my guest lecture to the senior nursing class at the community college where I used to work. I am very open about my experiences with bipolar and the effect on my family in addition to providing the basic framework of the bipolar spectrum. I also use Twitter and Facebook to share information that I've gleaned from other sources as a small contribution to educate the general public.

So yes, I have found and identity again. It may not be the one I initially saw for my life, but at least I have a better self image now as compared to in my deepest depression.