On Losing Your Mojo...

 

"MO·JO noun \ˈmō-(ˌ)jō\

: a magic spell, hex, or charm; broadly : magical power 

<works his mojo on the tennis court>"

                                        ~ Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

What mojo am I getting ready to talk about? My running mojo. For a couple of weeks now I haven't felt the love of the run that I normally do. It seems that my enthusiasm has gone out the door making it impossible for me to run and enjoy it. For instance, yesterday was supposed to be a long run and for the first 5K I was feeling good but by the time I hit about 5 miles that had all drained from me and I was dreading the rest of the run. By mile 5 1/2 I was feeling nauseated and actually ended up doing the whole vomiting scenario by the time I stopped the run at 6 1/4 miles. Now, the whole stomach issue may have been due to going out too soon after eating, but at the same time I can help to think that I made myself physically ill just by all the negative thinking I was doing. As I had stated in my previous post, I had been perceiving my lack of progress basically as a fault in myself, but now I think the negative thinking had it origins elsewhere.

A couple of weeks ago I had gone to see an ART (Active Release Therapy) chiropractor whom I had seen once in the past and had gotten good results from. This particular time, I had left my KT Tape on for my ankle and knee support. He then went into a pseudo-psychologist persona and was telling me at my age (I'm 2 years older than him) that my body will start breaking down in 10-15 years and I'd eventually need knee replacements, etc. Then he started about asking why and of course being as open as I am about my bipolar disorder I talked about using running as a way of helping me deal with the depressions. I mean I was in tears by the time I had finished talking and he kept saying that I needed to find some other hobby that wouldn't be so hard on my body. Who was he to say what my body could handle or not? I use the KT Tape as a means of supporting my knees so that they don't hurt after runs, I use the tape to stabilize weak ankles from spraining them so many times as a kid.

He finally did the treatment and I felt good and walked out thinking that what he had said hadn't affected me, but as I think about it I can't help thinking that that whole discussion is playing with my head causing the negative thinking and the poor perception of progress. I need to change my mindset and get back into a positive frame of mind. I need to get to the point that a 10 mile run, no matter how slow, still felt good and was relatively easy to do. Screw what that chiro had to say. I'm now looking at another ART chiro south of me in New Mexico and hopefully she will not be as intrusive as this other guy was. I can only hope because I really want to get my love of the sport back and continue on with my marathon training. Upon the recommendation of a Twitter acquaintance, I'll be backing off my training and just running for fun before this marathon in  5  weeks, why? Because it is walker friendly and a downhill course. So, please wish me luck in finding my mojo because in a similar way as Austin Powers needing his mojo for his love life, I really need it back to have a running life.